A time to pause

Another year is coming to an end. I'm not sure if its just my imagination or if it's truly so, but I feel that the years seem to be going by faster nowadays. Maybe it is our fast paced lives. Or maybe its because we begin to value life more and more as we grow. Or maybe its because the ratio of 1 divided by our age (current year compared to our whole life) is getting smaller every year.

Nevertheless, for me, the end of a year is a time to pause and reflect. It serves as a milestone where one can look back at the events of the past year with nostalgia, and look forward at the coming year with hope.

And once I'm done looking back and forth for the next 12 days, I'll go out and party :)

Wishing all of you out there a happy new 2008!

The ultimate price

Are you for or against the death penalty?

I am sure most of us have searched within ourselves for the answer to this question. And as is the case with any contentious issue, we find all sorts of arguments and counter-arguments in favor of or against this issue.

My personal belief is that even if the death penalty is appropriate for certain individuals and for certain crimes, no country in the world has a flawless judicial system. The Judiciary and the Police force are after all made up of human beings. And as well know, humans are not without flaws. We are biased, we are opinionated, we are greedy and we are corrupt. There is no way to guarantee that the person being executed is truly guilty.

Therefore, even if 99% of the convictions are justified, we need to abolish the death penalty for the 1% who are innocent souls that pay the ultimate price for someone else's crimes.

Compromises and Adjustments

I am not sure how many companies are aware of this, or if they can do anything to change this, but it is a fact that December is a very slow month at workplaces across countries that celebrate Christmas. Productivity is at an all-time low. People are either busy trying to get their shopping done, or trying to use up their vacation quotas, or simply in a holiday mood to seriously tackle the pending work items.

So here I was today, in a similar mood, surfing blogs. And I came across this one very interesting blog. This was a seasoned blogger who had been writing since 2004. Reading her blog made me feel like a back-seat passenger in her car, as she took her journey from the time she passed out of college through her first year and half of marriage.

For me, the journey took less than an hour. For her, it was a long 36 months. And it wasn't all a straight road either. And as I sat through each sharp turn, or change in elevation, or the places that went by, I realized something about life in general.

I realized that every so often, we have changes in our lives. Some of the changes are work-related, and some within our families. Some changes we bring upon ourselves, and some that life throws at us. And each time this happens, we adjust ourselves, much like a fielder who has to catch a ball, so we are prepared when it comes. Its all about compromises and adjustments, our life.

And then, a few minutes later, I was conversing with a blogger who did not believe in adjusting and compromising when it came to important events or decisions in our lives. Her arguments were logical and convincing. It was nice to see her zeal and enthusiasm on this subject. She was smart enough to realize how up-hill the task would be, and she was mentally prepared for it.

This raises the question .. is compromising a habit we develop as we grow older and (hopefully) wiser, after realizing the mysterious ways that life operates? Or is it that we get too tired and inert to fight our way out of compromising, and start accepting it as a part of the puzzle called life?

Addicted

"From your 21 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 224 items, starred 50 items, shared 0 items, and emailed 0 items."
- Google Reader Trends

This blogger habit is nothing short of an addiction. But I am loving it. You get to know a little bit about people from all over the map.

Every post is a window into another person's thoughts and views. And normally, these views are never expressed in day-to-day interactions. They remain submerged for various reasons. But blogging has this power to bring these views to the surface.

And as we read them, we sometimes connect to these views. And sometimes we open ourselves to a different point of view.

Another thing I have realized is that there is so much potential in people who blog out here. I am lucky enough to have read some amazing pieces of prose and poetry. And they are my inspiration to become better.

But as we know, nothing is forever. And maybe some day, this addiction will leave me. But for now, I am enjoying my high :)

(Mis)conceptions about India

Ask a typical westerner what they know about India and you will be told that India is a rural country consisting of villages, where animals roam the streets unattended, where women typically do not work outside their homes, where cows are sacred and worshipped, where people are vegetarians and eat a spicy dish called "curry", where poverty and disease is very common.

Now most of us Indians, resident and non-resident, would take offense to such misconceptions. It makes us angry. And that is because we believe that our country is one of the fastest growing countries of today. We believe that it is one of the world's largest democracies, and is best known for its 'unity in diversity'. We are proud to be Indians.

I wonder if any of us realize our own misconceptions. Look closer behind the veil of our conceptions.

Female foeticide is rampant. "Why pay 50,000 dowry when you can have an abortion for 500". As per official statistics, we now have 927 girls born for every 1000 boys. If you extrapolate that to the population growth in the last decade, that equates to millions of female foetus abortions. Corruption has become second-nature. We have thousands of dowry-related crimes occurring every year. And we have lost count of the number of innocent lives lost in communal riots.

There is no denying the goodness of India. But that goodness gets lost in these dark and ugly realities.

Part 2 - A short journey

.. a continuation from Testing the waters

And so they sailed, each on their own raft
travelling together, but destinations apart

Never a day went by when they didn't exchange a word
an email here, a message there, the distances blurred

Where would this journey take them, they knew not
Enjoying their today , oblivious to what tomorrow brought

But tomorrow did come, the way of life as we all know
bringing the unexpected and yet familiar blow

Brat saw his stop approaching, in the nearing horizon
parents back home had arranged for a special someone

Was it destiny, he searched for a reason
she smiled from a distance, changes are certain

Did she feel the same as he, he never did know
What her true feelings were, she never did show

And through the clouds of doubt, he saw the clear skies
With an open mind and clear heart, he stepped ashore to new ties

The agreement was mutual, and an engagement followed
His future mate by his side, he stepped forward on a new road

.. to be continued

On my way back home

Orange and Gray. These were the two colors that draped the sky last evening on my drive back home. Such a contrast.

The beauty of the natural sky at sunset, and against it, the ugly backdrop of man-made structures. Such a contrast.

All around me, people in cars talking to loved ones or listening to Christmas songs, and then up ahead, two cars smashed together, air-bags deployed, paramedics on the scene. Such a contrast.

And further along, a big hospital all decked up for the holidays with strings of lights on the trees, a big 'Seasons Greetings' sign on the roof, and inside the tiny windows, a game of life and death. Such a contrast.

As I kept driving, I could not but feel hope and despair at the mystery we call life. Such a contrast.

The modern dictators

We are living in the modern times. It's the world of hybrid cars and fuel from corn, bunker-busters and invisible drones, mobile blogs and ad-words, Mars expeditions and Pluto's planetary demotion. It is impossible to keep up with the latest technological advances we see around us.

But science is not the only field where innovation is taking a lead. I am referring to the current authoritarian regimes of our world. The old way of ruling populations with the twin-edged sword of suppression and censorship is history. The old order has been replaced by a new order of dictators. These so-called leaders have realized that the old weapons will no longer be effective in today's modern world where information is spread within the blink of an eye.

And so we see the invention of the modern weapons in their arsenal: popular votes to suppress opposition, controlling the pillars of democracy with hand-picked surrogates, and pushing referendums to remove all term-limit obstacles in their favor so they can rule forever. All of this under the guise of democratic reforms.

Some may argue that pure democracy is too strong a medicine for some volatile countries, that these countries need a watered-down democracy to weather the storm. We see support for these modern dictators from the leaders of the free world .. "the enemy of my enemy is my friend".

I beg to disagree. I realize that world politics and foreign policy is not a simple matter of black and white. Countries cannot survive in today's world of depleting natural resources and complex economic realities using ideology alone. However, I strongly believe in the saying "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Rising to the challenge

Recently, a fellow blogger pointed out a fact about my blogging. Let's just call that person H as in HaHa. This is what H said:

"I notice that most of the blogs you find and the commenters you have are all women".

Jeez .. what an absurd, uncomfortable and incorrect thing to say!! Well .. maybe not incorrect .. and maybe not absurd .. but let me tell you, it was definitely uncomfortable!!

The ironic part is that I was aware of it and yet it never hit home until now.

I tried in vain to think of excuses to refute this claim. But nevertheless, what H said was very true. My only saving grace was the fact that I have had two guys comment on my blogs .. Amol and CU I owe you both big time for this!!

But being the slow thinker I am, the question came back to haunt me again. Was there a reason behind this?

Was it because I was looking for someone? Naah .. one hookup in life is sufficient to last a lifetime. A man has to be crazy to deal with more than one woman at the same time!!

Was it because it is more fun communicating with women? Probably true for men in most cases. But not for me. I have more than my fair share of interaction with the three women in my life.

Was it because women make more sense than men? Now that's really funny ..I wont even answer this :)

Here is my take on this. I read and comment on blogs I enjoy and and if that happens to be a woman's blog, then so be it. And in return, I get their comments on my blog.

And imagine, how much worse of it would have been if the word "women" in H's comment was replaced by "men" ???

So here are some of my options going forward.

1) Try to get more men to read my blog and comment on it. Unfortunately for this, I need the help of all the women reading my blog to pass the word to their male colleagues.

2) Enable the comment moderation feature in blogger and selective publish comments to maintain a male/female balance. Prerequisite for this would be #1 as I would need male comments first :)

2) Ignore H. Enjoy all the female attention my blog is getting!

Any suggestions ??

Go away

Go away, all of my life's realities
Give me a break, I want the surreal today

Go away, my routines and schedules that hold me down
I need to do the unexpected, let me break free today

Go away, my thoughts of work, projects and office politics
I am sick and tired of you all, I don't want to think about you today

Go away, all my questions that are never answered
I need no answers, for I have no questions today

Go away, my constant worries and concerns for my family
You can be back tomorrow, I need to relax today

Go away, my friends, my colleagues and my fellow humans
Get away from me, I want to walk the lonely road today

Go away, my past, my present and my future
Unchain me, I want to be a new person today

Go away, my beliefs and my learnings and my truths
Let me free, and let my dreams come true today

Tolerance

I was under the impression that all religions of the world would include tolerance as one of their most basic teachings.

Tolerance for other people, tolerance for other religions, and tolerance for other's views.

I look back into the history books, and I look around at the world today .. and I realize how wrong my impressions are.

I am not against religion. But I am definitely against the misuse of religion.

Tagged - Famous Five Tag

Tagged by Pri from Nostalgic Moments. My First Tag. I am not gonna take the effort to make it interesting .. so expect the mundane :)

--- 5 THINGS FOUND IN MY ROOM:

1. Bed
2. Vicks
3. TV
4. Ipod
5. Tissues

--- 5 THINGS IN MY BAG

Since I don't carry a bag, I will list 5 things found in my clothes ..

1. Wallet
2. Cell phone
3. Loose change
4. Receipts
5. Chapstick

--- 5 THINGS IN MY WALLET

1. Pictures
2. Some money
3. Credit card
4. Driver's licence
5. Secret compartment to hide emergency money when the regular money is depleted :)

Somehow I feel exposed giving out all this information :) Anyways, here's 5 of the folks who may be reading my blog so I am tagging them next.

--- Deepali
--- Riya
--- PK
--- Mansi
--- Amol

Status update

The last couple of weeks have been pretty hectic for me.

Met a lot of new people. Hopefully some of these meetings will transform into lasting friendships.

Diwali celebrations were extra festive this season. I am just glad and thankful that this past one year has been good for us. No regrets.

And on the work front, things are going well. My contract has been extended and I will be working on some exciting new projects in the coming year.

I could not have wished for anything more.

Basic necessity or Luxury?

Today, I came across an article in the news titled Toilet Conference Opens in Delhi.

What a funny news story, was my initial reaction on reading the title. But my curiosity was aroused, and I clicked on the link to read what it was all about. I was assuming that the conference would be about the different kinds of toilets used by people around the globe.

As I read the article, the gravity of the story became all too evident. Almost half of the world' population did not have access to this basic necessity. That equals 2.6 billion people. Of that, 700 million are in India .. 70% of our country.

For some of us, it is a basic necessity that we take for granted each morning. For most of the others, it is an elusive luxury.

Part 1 - Testing the waters

Many moons ago, there was this young lad
who went into the web world known as brat

He used to be online after dinner most nights
as he loved to surf and browse new sites

One day, as he was clicking away up late
there flashed an instant message, a request for chat

He tried to make head and tail of that screen name
was it someone from afar playing a game

He typed a cautious hello, do I know you
back came her reply, no, but how do you do

Her words were warm and without a pretence
and before he knew it, they became net friends

From the same country, but seven seas apart
they chatted daily, and a unique friendship did start

They grew closer as true friends often do
as to her real name, he had no clue

Even in the closeness, some distance was maintained
it's best for our friendship, was how she explained

Days into weeks, weeks into months, the seasons changed
some tears, some smiles, pieces of their lives were exchanged

And one rainy day, as he lay reading her email
he found his heart in the waters, ready to sail

The feeling was strong, too hard to ignore
the thoughts rushed in, can there be more

But his mind faltered, and warnings blazed the way
scared of the unknown, he locked his heart away.

.. to be continued

Ladli

I recently came across Fazal Sheikh's website. He is a social activist who portrays the problems faced by people around the globe using images and narratives.

One of his projects is titled Ladli. I request every one of you to please check it out, and share it with as many people as possible. Hopefully it will make a difference .. for our ladlis.

Why is it always a man

Lately, I have been come across several blogs with a common theme. Each of these blogs portrayed the dark side of men. These portraits were drawn from personal experiences and real incidents.

I tried to capture these feelings in the following words. It's my first foray into the world of verses and rhymes. So be fore-warned.

All kinds of comments are allowed, but the author reserves the right to use them to his advantage :-)

you say we promise you the stars,
but all we do is break your hearts

you say we start with friendship
but end up wanting more than a 'friend'

you label us with various names
and claim that we play games

you call us dirty and perverted
that our minds are sick and totally corrupted

you say our ego is greater than everest
and you feel oppressed and suppressed

you say we only believe in physical beauty
that on the inside we are shallow and empty

you sit on venus and say we are from mars
and blame us for being so wierd and crass

You cry in the night, full of grief and pain
and you ask why .. why is it always a man.

Some days are happier than others

Once upon a time, in the land of the Nanak, on the banks of the mighty river Sutlej, lay the bustling town of Ludhiana. It was home to the Manav family.

The Manav family was like any other family one finds in every town and city. A hard-working and caring father, a loving mother, and two well-mannered and intelligent children.

The father worked hard to make ends meet and provide a decent life for his family. He was an engineer in the big textile mill across town. The mother spent all her time taking care of the family and providing them with love and nourishment.

They loved and doted on their two children. The older one was tall and lean. He was in sixth grade and enjoyed playing cricket. The younger one was an angel. She was in third grade and loved playing with dolls.

And so they led their daily lives. They had their ups and they had their downs. Some days were happier than others. It was one of those days.

The father got the news at work. He had been promoted. It not only meant a better position at work, but more importantly, it meant a bigger salary. He was elated.

In order to celebrate this happy occasion, the family decided to go out and have a good time. There was a newly renovated movie-plex in the center of the city, and right next to it was a nice but pricey restaurant. The plan was to watch a movie and then have a good dinner.

Instead of the regular bus ride, they took the taxi to the city center. The kids felt like royalty riding in the back-seat. Watching the joy on their faces, the father smiled inwardly. Even though it was expensive, it was worth it, he thought.

After getting the tickets, the father and son went to the snack counter to get some pop-corn and drinks. With their hands full, they hurried inside to take their seats quickly as it was almost show-time. They were showing the trailers to some of the forth-coming releases.

The lights dimmed and the movie started. Everyone was glued to the screen. Within a few minutes, a loud explosion tore through the very row where the Manav family was sitting ..

Some days are happier than others ..

[The family is imaginary, but the tragedy is real. It happened on Sunday, the 14th of October in Ludhiana, Punjab]

Down memory lane

At last the little one slept. He took her upstairs to the kids room. The elder one was already fast asleep. He laid her down on her bed and crept out silently, closing the door but not shutting it completely.

He stepped into his bedroom quietly so as not to wake up his wife. Her calm rhythmic breathing was barely audible under the blankets as he lay down besides her. Plugging in the ear-pieces, he turned on the ipod.

He skipped through the next six songs. The need of the hour was mellow songs, not fast and raunchy numbers. Finally, lata's voice drifted across with woh bhooli daastaan into his ears.

As he heard the words, he felt a knife cutting through his heart. He felt himself falling back across time .. to a place that was once familiar and inviting, but was now strange and forbidden.

And all the memories came rushing in, like a tidal wave, flooding his mind and numbing his senses.

The song ended in a few minutes. He turned off the ipod, turned on his side and closed his eyes ..

He was still drowning when he finally drifted off to sleep.

Reflections

Reflections .. a collection of verses and poems that convey emotions, in a manner that is simple and yet profound.

http://reflections-fromtheheart.blogspot.com/

Society

We live in a civilized society. It consists of people from all walks of life going about their daily lives, professional and personal. Each day, people interact with each other, they socialize, they collaborate, they grow families, and they break relationships.

We have rules and regulations that help us in our interactions. Follow the rules, and you are welcomed by all. But break them, and you are incarcerated and locked away in a cell.

This is how civilized societies operate .. for the greater good. One gets rewarded for the good deeds, and punished for the bad ones.

I sometimes wonder what is the purpose of the punishment. Is it to make a person realize his mistakes and become a better person? Or is it to act as a deterrent so the person does not make the same mistake again?

Are either of these goals ever achieved in reality?

Today, sadly, it is a terrible state of affairs. Corruption and greed have muddied the very principles on which free societies are formed. Money and clout can buy you freedom from the most heinous of crimes. Street-smart lawyers can take a open and shut case and turn it upside down. Not only is justice rarely served, but the innocent person ends up at the gallows.

It is time for each one of us to refuse this injustice .. refuse to accept the status-quo .. refuse to just sit back and watch the show.

It is time to stand up and make a difference .. for the greater good of society.

Anniversary wishes

Thirty-six years!

That is the number of years that my parents have been married. My mom was 18 and my dad was 24 when they got married. It was a love marriage but luckily within the same community .. otherwise I am not sure if I would have been here writing this :-)

I called to wish them this morning from work. They were getting ready to go out for dinner with my brother and bhabhi. I asked mama what papa had bought her as a gift. She laughed at my silly question and gave the phone to him.

"It's not Diwali yet" was his reply. When they were visiting us a few months back, he had made a promise to get her a diamond mangal-sutra, something she had wanted for some time now. My father never buys anything impulsively .. one has to put in a lot of effort to get something .. and especially jewellery!

"I will keep reminding you" was my response back as I smiled.

They were still on my mind long after I hung up the phone .. and I realized how much I miss them.

Happy Anniversary mama and papa.

A new beginning

Starting today, I am turning a new leaf .. and become a vegetarian.

This is not the first time that I am doing this. My previous attempt was a few years back, and it lasted eight months.

I sincerely hope that this time around, it is more permanent.

Worlds apart

"Can you get S ready for school today?" my wife asked sleepily. The alarm had woken me up as well. Normally I just turn around and go back to another round of sleep, while she gets up to get S ready for kindergarten.

"OK" I replied while getting out of bed. I got myself ready first, and then went to wake up our daughter.

"One more minute, please" came her sleepy reply as she slid under the blanket to hide her eyes from the light that I had turned on in her room. After a couple more of these "one more minute" pleas, she finally got up. Thankfully she had slept well, and was well rested and in a good mood.

After getting her ready and some light breakfast, I went out with her to the corner of our street. It was a nice cool morning. Our neighbour was dropping his son as well, and we exchanged the customary pleasantries.

The school bus came right on time. S gave me a quick hug and climbed onto the bus and waved bye. It was a beautiful start to my day!

I was smiling while driving in to work. I usually have the radio tuned to the news channel. There was a report on the Blackwater security firm in Iraq and the killings of innocent civilians.

My mind began to reflect on the people who live in a war zone. Do they get a peaceful night's sleep ? Do they wake up in the morning and call the day beautiful? Are they ever able to send their kids to school without worrying about seeing them again? How do they cope with the pain at the loss of loved ones?

One world .. and yet worlds apart.

I have learned

(These are not mine .. wish I knew who the author was .. )

I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved
The rest is up to them

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do.

I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned -
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned -
that you can keep going
long after you can't.

I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned -
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades
and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned -
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned -
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned -
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned -
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I've learned -
that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned -
that no matter how you try to protect your children,
they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned -
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned -
that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned -
that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned -
that it's hard to determine where to draw the line
between being nice and not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

Is there more darkness than light?

"..in comparison, there is more darkness than there is light" ...

This comment was made recently by a fellow blogger I admire. It was in reference to positive and negative emotions and their role in our lives. It made me stop and think of the bigger picture. Is this true? Has our world taken a turn for the worse? Is there truly more darkness than there is light?

Since summer has just ended for the northern hemisphere, and winter is about to come, the statement does hold true in the literal sense. Winter days are shorter and there is more darkness. But that was not the intent of that statement.

So, back to the question: is the world experiencing more negativity than positive things? Are there more wars being fought? Are more people dying of natural and man-made causes? Is there more sorrow in the world than happiness?

If one was to read the headlines, the answer to these questions would be yes. Wars and natural calamities seem to be getting more and more common. The crime rate seems to be going up every year. Nations are spending more on military hardware than on social infrastrutures.The threat of terrorism seems to be increasing day by day. We face more tsunamis and worsening floods.

But if we all look into our own lives and experiences, each of us may come up with a different answer. Our answer will depend on how the events that happen around us affect us and our loved ones.

Personally for me, if people I care for are happy, then there is light. Otherwise, I go looking for a torch.

The Scale

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I noticed the weighing scale in the corner of our closet. Since it had been a couple of months since it was last used, I decided to find out how things had changed ..

"161!!" I told my wife, with a smile on my face. My weight is usually in the high 160 range. "Oh great .." came her reply. She was not happy about it. She resented the fact that I always lost weight without any effort when she on the other hand was trying so hard, trying all kinds of methods, and not reaching the desired results.

Anyways, she pushed me out of the room so she could use the scale. A few seconds later, she came out with a sad look on her face. She refused to tell me how much it was. All she said was she had gained 4 lbs in the last 2 months.

She was still sad as I kissed her cheek and left for work. It made me sad.

Fading Memories

We all have memories of the days gone by .. of the bad phases of our life, and of the good times we experienced .. of the ones we regret, and of the ones that bring a smile to our face .. of our childhood days in school and college, and of the time we can never get back .. of the moments that were memorable, and of the moments that we wish never happened.

Some memories become an inseparable part of our identity and mesh themselves into our lives. They stay in the background .. just beneath the surface .. and at times they come out when we least expect them .. and take us back into time to ..

.. a person .. a wound .. a laugh .. a lover .. a face .. a stranger .. an event .. a view .. a friend .. an acquaintance .. a smile .. an arch rival .. a letter .. a ride .. a teacher .. an infatuation .. an insult .. a journey ..

Why is it that some memories are quickly forgotten, and others last a lifetime?

Why is it that some of the memories that we think are going to last a lifetime, start fading away with the changing times?

Is it our mind's way of telling us stop living in the past?

Life ..

A few months ago, I ran into an old acquaintance of mine on the net. We used to live in adjacent buildings during our school years. Back then, I did not know her well .. our interaction was just a hi, hello and bye.

After this chance meeting, we exchanged a couple of emails. I told her about my family, and how everyone was doing. Our dads were colleagues in the same office back then. She replied back to say she was married, and had a son who had recently passed away from a cord blood transplant.

I read her email with a dry throat and wet eyes. Her son was barely 18 months old when this happened. I could only imagine her pain and sorrow .. of the daily struggle to face each day without your lil one .. of all the memories that were once a reality. She had sent me a link to a site that her hubby maintained. It was a chronicle of the events that took place before and after .. and of their journey thru it all.

No words of mine can describe that painful journey ..

Most of us in this world always assume our lives suck .. we hate our jobs .. we wish a better future for ourselves .. it is just human nature.

But for a minute, just reflect for a moment at those who are enduring more pain than us .. and realize how lucky we are .. how much better off we are .. and be thankful for our good life.

Bad habits

Have you ever had a situation where you said or did something in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later? Do you ever wish you could take back the words you said, take back the hurt you caused someone? I am sure we all go through those.

Each time I have such a regret, I make a mental note to myself to think twice before I speak or do something, to try and be a better person. But unfortunately, we are creatures of habit .. and no matter how much I mean to, its hard to change some habits.

Being short-tempered and opinionated are some of my bad habits. I voice my opinions too quickly without giving thought to the other person's views. I also get irritated very easily. This not only causes hurt and bad feelings with people around me, but also causes me pain and regret in hindsight.

If only real-life was like blogging where we could moderate our comments and actions before they get to others ..

Is there a Higher Power?

I have been trying to find an answer for many years now.

Science was a big part of my education. Over my school years, I read about the laws of physics, about biology and genetics, evolution and the galaxies. Science can explain how a flower blooms, how a human life is concieved from an embryo, how the big bang happened billions of years ago, how galaxies and stars are born, how the dinosaurs became extinct, how the human race has evolved .. it has answers to many complex aspects of our universe, nature and life.

Humans have made an amazing journey from the life-style of a cave-man to the modern life-style of today, with our cities, our technology, our gadgets, and our conveniences. I believe the credit for this goes to humans.

With so much knowledge out there, we are still not able to find answers to so many questions.

What is the source of our universe?
What is the purpose of life?
What makes our minds think and our hearts beat?
What makes us good or bad?

For now, I am still on the fence ..

Into the unknown

The other day, as I was surfing the web, I stumbled into the mysterious realm of Blogging. The word blog was not new for me. I had read about it in many news articles. But that day, as I clicked through the various hyperlinks, I realised the true meaning of blogging.

Each new link took me to a new place, to a new person, and to a new viewpoint or opinion. Needless to say, I spent many hours reading about Dee's little words of wisdom, a daily diary for A's kids, books that RB had read lately, VD's chronicles .. the list went on and on. In a nutshell, I was hooked!

Later in the night, as I lay in bed, I toyed with the idea of starting my own blog. Reading somebody else's blog was easy enough. But to actually have the courage to publish my own thoughts scared me. In the end, a compromise was reached. I decided to start my blog, but with an assumed identity.

So here it is, my own blog. It is about how I view the world around me .. through the prism of my life.